One year ago, I was in the same place I am right now.. not literally, but in this same store. I was making spaces for the new releases that were coming out the following Tuesday. I was just coming out of a darker place in life and was finally starting to feel like things were starting to get much better, my outlook of the future was more optimistic, and I was open to meeting new people, experiencing new things. I got what I wanted on all fronts.

On that particular day, while I was making spaces, two guys came into the store. They weren't regulars so I said hello and continued with my work while they wandered around. As they came around closer to my side, one started teasing about my being too short to reach the top shelf. The other was smaller, younger, and much quieter. Then they saw the shirt I was wearing, which elicited more jokes and bantering between the three of us. It was a t-shirt with a line of animals, elephants, giraffes, etc. and above it said "I love the wild life." Obviously a double meaning my slow brain had not picked up on until that very moment. It was easy, fun, and natural.  After some more sarcastic remarks and joking, numbers were exchanged. From that point started what was to become my second family.

There were three of them total, all roommates. One of them was Deej, who's been mentioned before. The younger and quieter one was Mr. Nice Guy. The third was Weezy. Each one was a different point on the personality scale in that Deej was insane, Weezy was out going and stable, and Mr. NG was quiet and hadn't quite come out of his shell. By the end of October it was all of us, plus Weezy's girlfriend. Their house was where I was 9 times out of 10 if you couldn't find me at home or at work. I slept there, ate there, basically lived there 3-4 nights a week

During the past year I've ridden on a motorcycle for the first time, spent time on a jetski, parties, dancing, beaches, tubing, had wrestling and pillow fight matches in the middle of the living room, played rockband, made Christmas cookies with three grown men who wanted nothing more than to eat the dough and play with food coloring. Trips to the grocery store at 2am in pjs for ice cream and fruit because we'd stayed up watching movies and wanted to make smoothies was not an uncommon occurance. We even took care of each other when we were sick, making tea and honey, soup, giving foot and back massages, and keeping tissues nearby. There was so much cuddling and love going on in this household it was difficult to imagine anything better. Naturally, drama occurs, people butt heads but those were never things that lasted. (Obviously things did change if you read any of the other blogs regarding Deej and our falling out. Even now, we are still friends, and I don't think that will ever change.)

During this year I also lost a famliy member, lost a pet, and reconnected with other relatives. I started college again, reconnected with a few girlfriends. Went snorkeling, made bonfires, slept on the beach, took a vacation to England to see my closest friend in the world, and gained a married semi stalker in the process. My first kiss of the new year was stolen by a brazillian man on his last night in the U.S. I dated a few people, made a few bad decisions, and woke up with a few hangovers, and still kept on smiling about what life was sending my way.

The most important thing out of this entire year was that I relearned what it meant to feel love. What it meant to open up and let people in, even when they hurt you. I learned a lot about myself, about what I want, and what it takes to get there. I'm still working on that every day, and I do it with a full heart and a lot of optimism. I have goals in abundance and a drive now that I didn't have the year before.

October is when my new year begins. A year ago, I met my second family and year full of lasting experiences... a week ago, that family changed. The end of an adventure. Mr. NG moved in with his brother. Weezy and Deej moved 20 minutes away so Weezy could be closer to his gf. The dynamic between the four of us is much different than it used to be but I'm confident that it'll never really die. It made me sad when things started to break apart. Almost to the point of tears. What about me? But even I am in a different place, still a good place, just different. Each one has chipped away their own little spot in my heart, they gave me a lot without ever realizing they were doing it.

I went to Deej and Weezy's new place the other night. It's quite a drive, 30-40 minutes depending on traffic. And while I was wrapped in a cuddle that was familiar and foreign to me at the same time, the words 'You'll always have a special spot in my heart. You know that right? You're my constant.' were whispered and I felt better. A chain of events always comes full circle, I'd said those very same words to Mr. NG when he was emotional about the change in our little family. Hearing them given back to me, I knew they were true.

Here's to a new year of beginnings, experiences, and finding love.